Drugs, sex, and hip-hop.
I recently had my license taken away by the state of Georgia, so I’ve had a lot of time to sit and think…..
I’ve recently been reading Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. The book revolves around this couple that are having relationship issues, partly because the male is obsessed with a fictional musician named Tucker Crowe. Crowe is painted by his fans as the classic recluse, genius musician. He actually isn’t that, but this isn’t going to be a summary of the novel. The idea of the recluse musician got my brain going……
Is that what I’ve become? Im not suggesting I’m a genius or anything special. I think I’ve made good bodies of work. Clearly, not well enough to achieve what I set out to do, but good enough. I’ve been in Atlanta about a year and a half. In that time period, I’ve done little of anything in the pursuit of my musical dream. I work non-stop, and by the time I’m done working, I’m too exhausted to do anything besides play Borderlands or binge watch episodes of New Girl. Money was my motivation for moving, but money to be used in chasing my original dream. Now, I just save with no goal in mind, other than to buy houses.
I still write. Not as often as I used to, but enough to keep my pen sharp. I haven’t been on stage in ages. I have an album I’m sitting on currently, but I refuse to release it until there’s some videos in the can. I worry about quality constantly. I worry about where my place would be in this insane musical climate. I create without these worries, so as to not affect the quality of what I do. They do, however, cross my mind often.
This isn’t me giving up. On the contrary, I’m writing this for myself, hopefully using this to jump start my creative mind. But I need to remind myself of my original plan. I need to refocus, regroup, and attack. When something is embedded in how you define yourself, you can’t stop.
I’ll get back to me. Soon enough……
(This was originally supposed to run for a sports website I write for from time to time, but I couldn’t find a sports angle for it. I didn’t want it to be forced. But I also didnt want the writing I worked on to go to waste.)
I know people usually run their lists in December, but I like to let the year marinate in my head just to make sure something amazing I heard in December doesn’t get left off the list.
12) Mykki Blanco - Cosmic Angel: The Illuminati Princess
Was a year I spent recharging my creative juices and putting monetary concerns over all. M.O.B. as the rappers say. I like the idea of being financially stable. But I’m not happy not using my creative side.
2013…..
Time to get back to what I do really really well.
Haven’t used this in awhile. Everything currently on here is via reblog. I go through Tumblr periods. I actually do that with everything in my life. Somedays I’m interested and invested in living. And somedays, I’d rather lay in the bed and listen to Feist records and stare at my ceiling. I think white people call it depression. My mother calls it “being a lazy bum.” I wish I could figure out a way to stay interactive with life, instead of always feeling like a spectator. Updates…..
1) It’s fantasy football season. HELL YEAH FOOTBALL.
2) I have 347 unwatched movies on my hard drive. The goal is to finish them all by December 30th.
3)Welcome To Mother Superior’shas turned into a full fledged album. If you liked the depression found onFamekills,this is that ratcheted up by about 200%. If you don’t feel slightly suicidal by the end of the record, I haven’t done a good job. Looks like Atlanta wasn’t the mood altering place I’d hoped it be.
3) (Part B) The record is basically done. I’m actually doing some post-production when I get home in a couple weeks. AND SHOOTING REAL VIDEOS. That is basically the hold up. Just making sure this is a REAL launch as opposed to my normal method of just throwing things into the vast nothingness that is the internets and hoping people pay attention. Gonna put some actual muscle into the promo this time. YAY me.
Ask me questions about Do people still use this? http://www.formspring.me/alexludovico